Chapter 0

“Saying Goodbyes”

I watched Zoe get into a black cab that would take her closer to an experience of a lifetime.

The sky was a dull shade of gray, thick clouds swallowing any sunlight trying to break through and making my bones ache from the cold. Zoe rolled down the window, her copper hair the only pop of color, and pulled me in for one more awkward hug that forced me to bend in unnatural ways. Still, I squeezed her as hard as I could nonetheless.

Even though I kept telling myself the delay with my visa was temporary, betrayful thoughts kept creeping in — thoughts of being rejected, of going home instead of joining Zoe in Guam.

“I’ll see you again soon, Kira. I promise. We’ll make it,” she said, as if reading my mind.

 Perhaps because I usually wasn’t a hugger, she could tell I was losing hope.

Ever since we picked up her passport from the embassy — with that glorious red and blue J-1 visa securely glued to one of the pages — Zoe had been apologizing to me any chance she got. It was cute, if not a little annoying. I knew she meant well, but I still couldn’t stop the jealousy from creeping in. Why did it have to be me who stayed behind? Why did it always have to be me?

“Have a safe flight,” I muttered, finally pulling away. Tears gathered in my throat, and I had to force them back down. I didn’t want to make a scene, to make it harder for her than it already was.

The cab driver gave us an impatient look. People here didn’t like to waste time — everything in Seoul was fast and efficient, as we’d learned the hard way, making fools of ourselves for the past few days together.

I waved at Zoe, giving her my silent blessing to go. She frowned, blowing me a kiss with the saddest puppy-dog eyes she could manage, and the taxi pulled away, taking my best friend with it.

I took a deep, shaky breath. A droplet rolled down my cheek — a snowflake, not a tear. I couldn’t even cry, too hollowed out, so the sky did it for me. It was the first snow of December.