June 13, 2023 (Draft)
It’s been ten years.
Is that enough time to finally talk about what happened?
Script.
Hey viewers! Long time no see!
You’re probably wondering, “June, what happened to you? Where did you go?”
Well— laughs awkwardly —funny story. Cole Carver pushed me out of a hotel window while we were both high on molly and asked me not to press charges because that would make him lose his career—and he promised he’d ruin mine completely if I did.
I shut the lid of my laptop.
Maybe ten years isn’t enough.
Maybe no time will ever be enough to tell my story—to explain why one day in 2014 I abruptly deleted my YouTube channel with over ten thousand subscribers, erased every social account, and disappeared. Why I went back to school, became a dental hygienist, and now spend my days looking into people’s mouths for a living.
Ten years ago, I had just turned twenty-one—barely legal and ecstatic to attend my first VidCon not as a fan, but as a creator. I’d saved enough to buy an industry pass—three hundred dollars more than the basic community ticket—but I convinced myself it was worth it. I was going to be a YouTuber for real.
Of course, that left almost no money for accommodation, so I shared a room with another girl who’d been subscribed to my channel since the very beginning. That’s how it worked back then—fans became friends, and no one thought twice about it. We stayed at a motel conspicuously called Little Blue Boy, a fifteen-minute walk from the convention center that we trudged twice a day in the Anaheim heat. Still, I regretted nothing.
It was the first official day of VidCon—the day the crowds swelled, the day everything changed for me. I remember bouncing on my heels, camera stretched out on a shaky arm, vlogging through my grin. This place—no, this event—was a fever dream for someone like me.
For years, YouTube had been my friend, my TV, the one who listened when no one else did. And now, I was here, surrounded by people who spoke the same language, who got my references, who felt the same longing I’d been trying to film into words.